I was once told by an employer that my voice was too high and too loud. Even worse, I raised it ever so slightly at the end of a thought, indicating a question or insecurity. He suggested I take lessons with a voice coach.

Eventually, I did reach out to a friend of mine who moonlighted as a voice coach and sent over the same product video that caused the initial complaint. I asked if my cadence and pitch did muddle my message when I spoke in that stereotypical “female” way. The answer surprised me a bit — it did not. I had expected to be corrected and coached, but instead, I was comforted.

As a former trainer and current director of sales/marketing, I do a lot of public speaking. Presentations are eclipsed only by coffee on my list of enjoyable activities when working. Because of that, I’ve spent a lot of time contemplating my voice after that initial complaint and comparing it to the voices of other executive females.

Here is what I’ve learned about embracing my undeniably female voice: